Regardless of what happens to your spirit, what happens to your corporeal remains and your belongings is governed by the law.

Dear Len & Rosie,

I was advised to plan out a will, which I have done, but I am running into a problem. I am not a rich lady, and my will was done for my by my church at no cost to me. In the event of my death, I want my wishes to be carried out to the letter. I don’t want any of my immediate family notified of my death. Is there way to prevent this from occurring?

I also do not want an autopsy on my body, as I feel that it would be disrespectful, and it’s my body and my choice, not their choice. I have had arguments with the coroner’s office about this. I told them I would even put it in writing that I don’t want an autopsy even in the event my death is considered suspicious. It didn’t seem to matter to them.

Is there any way to make sure that my wishes are carried out?

Tammy

Dear Tammy,

If your estate is subject to probate in the courts, or if you die with a trust, then your relatives who would have inherited your estate by default, the “intestate heirs” of your estate, are entitled to notice of the probate or trust administration, even if the will or trust disinherits all of them. If you want to avoiding providing them with any notice, then designated pay-on-death beneficiaries to all of your accounts. If you own a home, you can record one of the new Transfer on Death deeds, which are revocable so you may update them at any time.

With respect to the disposition of your remains, you need an Advance Health Care Directive, so that someone you trust can make arrangements for your burial or cremation after your death.  Make sure that you name an agent, or alternate agent, who is younger than you are. If you can afford it, you may also prepay for your funeral and burial or cremation arrangements. With any luck at all, you’ll be safely in the ground before your relatives even learn of your death.

In your Advance Health Care Directive, you can also specify that you don’t want an autopsy, but unfortunately that may not put an end to it. Usually an autopsy is performed when a deceased’s treating physician isn’t willing to sign off as to the cause of death. You can count on an autopsy being performed if it appears that your death is the result of foul play. In cases of suspected homicide, the law considers the interests of the people in finding and punishing your killer to be more important than your right to privacy with respect to your remains.

You have a lifetime to prepare for your final reckoning, but when you pass away, it’s more or less out of your hands. Regardless of what happens to your spirit, what happens to your corporeal remains and your belongings is governed by the law. While it is possible, with some difficulty, to live a private life, it is more difficult to die a private death.

Len & Rosie

What are the duties of a Trustee?

Dear Len & Rosie,

My mother-in-law passed away last week. She has a trust, with her six children named in it. Her oldest daughter is the trustee. What are her immediate duties and responsibilities, now that her mother has passed? Should she reassess the family home? File taxes? Close the bank accounts? Notify each of the beneficiaries?

Ron

Dear Ron,

Your sister-in-law, as trustee, has to conduct a trust administration. Many people think that it’s really easy to administer a trust. We call this the “Living Trust Myth”.  Trust administration is easiest where the successor trustees and the beneficiaries are the same people and they each get equal shares. Unless there’s fighting, it’s not so hard to divide everything by two. In this case, there are five siblings who are not beneficiaries. It can still be easy, but that depends on the trustee being honest, organized, diplomatic, and good with her own money - if she isn’t, she shouldn’t be in charge of other people’s money.

The first step is for the trustee to notify the trust beneficiaries and legal heirs of her mother (probably the same people) of the existence of the trust with a notice under California Probate Code section 16061.7. Even disinherited children are entitled to this notice. Receiving this notice triggers a 120 countdown on their right to contest the validity of the trust. This time period is why many trustees won’t distribute anything until a few months after the date of death - the trustee doesn’t want to have to ask for anything back if the trust was declared invalid by court order.

The second step is for the trustee to review all of her mother’s assets and determine exactly what has to be done to each asset to get it to the beneficiaries.  Assets outside of the trust may have to go through probate or be collected using Small Estate Affidavits. Assets held in joint tenancy and with pay-on-death beneficiaries pass outside of the trust and are usually collected by the beneficiaries directly.

After everything is in the name of the trustee, she may then pay off the bills, sell the assets that have to be sold. When everything is ready to be distributed, the trustee should either get the beneficiaries to waive their right to an accounting of the trust, or bite the bullet and pay a bookkeeper to prepare one. Then, the trustee can distribute everything except for a reserve for taxes and unexpected debts.

Many trustees think that they can do all of this themselves. In your case, this would be a bad idea for your sister-in-law. If she makes a mistake that is discovered only after she’s given away all the money, she may have to pay to fix it out of her own pocket. She should hire an attorney, at trust expense, to make sure she does the job right and to protect herself from potential liabilities.

Len & Rosie